Making Better Choices Leaves you With a lot of Empty Space.

And it is a good thing.

Adulthood feels like an endless loop of "where did the time go?" Just a year ago I was on top of Table Mountain, feeling invincible soaking in the sun and beauty of Cape Town, anticipating 2024. I had no idea that the year would begin with a sucker punch- I lost my job, and honestly, it left me questioning everything. But here I am still standing. 😮‍💨

Though unemployment hit hard, it also brought unexpected personal growth. With so much free time, I was forced to slow down and be still, which led to countless revelations about myself and how I navigate the world. It’s been a challenging year, but also a deeply enlightening one.

Table Mountain, Cape Town Dec 2023

On being still

We get so caught up in the busyness of life, doing everything but staying still, often feeling uneasy in the quiet moments. The constant chatter of others—telling us what to do, love, or hate—erodes our authenticity. Over time, we forget who we are and what we truly enjoy. But in that stillness, there’s a chance to pause, reflect, and rediscover ourselves. Shocker: our true desires might be way different from what we’ve been taught to chase.

And that is where the real work begins: unlearning societal expectations and reconnecting with YOU. Unbecoming the roles we thought we had to play just to survive or succeed. For instance, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I don’t want children. Yes, my parents might struggle with that—but it is what it is.

Silencing the noise of the world creates space for clarity. It helps you spot the subtle signs guiding your path and the limiting beliefs holding you back. In those quiet moments, you can connect with your authentic self—free from society’s demands.

I've come to understand how flawed our collective values are as a society. We’re obsessed with the wrong things and it is the reason why the world feels chaotic. Personally, I’m more interested in cultivating meaningful relationships and experiences. Losing my job forced me to reassess my life, my identities and what truly matters- work being less of a centrepiece.

Human Design has been a helpful tool in this journey offering practical spiritual insights into my qualities, strengths and how to align with my natural rhythm. It’s not about blind faith—it’s a framework backed by real-life evidence for improving all areas of life. I urge you to try it, starting [here].

As a Generator, I’m naturally energetic (think Energizer Bunny 🐰), but this energy is best spent on things that light me up. My gut is my guide—not my head, despite what society says—and ignoring it only leads to frustration. Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should.

Deactivating Instagram was another game-changer. The relief was instant. I’m prioritising meaningful relationships and drawing firmer boundaries. I’ve no room for half-hearted or shallow connections, and while that’s left me with a lot of space, it’s been liberating. I can’t over emphasise how much of a relief it is.

It hasn’t all been easy. Being alone sometimes tempts me to fall back into old patterns. The urge to control, force outcomes, and seek validation is deeply ingrained in our culture. But my themes for this year have been trust, patience, and surrender. These are the keys to navigating uncertainty, and honestly, I no longer care about being liked.

Growth isn’t flashy—it’s in the quiet, subtle shifts. It’s in saying no, letting go of old habits, and embracing new ones. Like embracing a drama-free life. Like being comfortable as a single woman and refusing to settle for mediocrity or the ridiculousness in modern dating. It’s about believing in myself and refusing to accept less than I deserve just to fit in.

Letting go is terrifying, but it’s freed up my time and energy and sharpened my ability to spot BS. While the quiet can feel boring at times, it’s shown me who truly cares and what’s worth my attention. Now, my focus is on nurturing those meaningful connections, improving my tennis skills and just living my life. I’m so excited for what’s next.

I hope you find the courage to sit still and create space for the life you truly want.

With love ❤️

Thanks for reading this far. Here’s an uplifting playlist by Qubilah Huddleston that makes me feel good—I hope it does the same for you.

And, I’m yet to find African voices on the topic of being child free, but this podcast is the next best thing, if you’re curious:

Until 2025!