The Flag Football Team That Wasn't So Friendly

Being kicked off a team hurt and left me feeling pissed off.

Sure, it happened two years ago, and I should be over it—maybe I am—but the sting of the memory still lingers. Then, karma made her move in July 2023 when the league was thrown into chaos by a rich businessman power struggle 🌚. The founder, who also coached my team, had a major fallout with a teammate-turned-investor. This resulted in the birth of a "new" league, which is really just the same league with a new leader. Some of the old teams—including mine—either disbanded or transformed. Stay with me, lol. In short, my former team no longer exists, and I had a good laugh about it. Petty? Absolutely.

A recent fall got me thinking about my overall health, and a conversation with my friend Victor made me reflect on how sports have become a form of self-care for me. Naturally, this brought back memories of being kicked off that flag football team.

At almost 40, it’s rare to find my female peers (in the Nigerian context) actively playing sports. So, kudos to me for being brave enough to step outside the norm.

What Happened?

In early 2022, I attended tryouts for SS co-ed flag football and got selected to play on one of 10 teams. Picture a community of young, trendy Nigerians from different walks of life, all connected by their love for flag football. The sport was fairly new to Nigeria but had gained popularity in Lagos and Abuja. I’d heard about it for a while but never considered joining—I just didn’t think I fit in.

But as I got closer to some of the players, who I was friendly with, I started to see the appeal. Exercise, staying active, and a lively social scene? What’s not to love? So, I decided to give it a shot. It all started well. The technicalities—game plays, calls, movements—were a challenge, but I was energised by the excitement that comes with determination. Even now, I only understand the basics, but back then, I embraced my role. When I wasn’t playing center, I was in the stands, loudly cheering on my team and throwing witty banter at the opposition.

Typical Nigerian banter

Weekends were sorted: Saturdays for practice, Sundays for games and the occasional Friday team hangouts. I even convinced friends to come watch—if not for the sport, at least for the eye candy on the field. The team had promised me I could grow with them, that they were patient with new players, and that felt encouraging. I didn’t have the agility or game knowledge of the 20-somethings, but my athleticism was solid enough to hold my own, and I was happy.

Then we lost the 2022 championship—and the team’s true colors came out.

that’s me in the red circle

The so-called "leaders" decided to cut players they deemed unfit for the team. I was a committed team member, yet they didn’t even have the decency to talk to me in person. Instead, they opted for a casual phone call disguised as a team check-in. Who cuts people from a voluntary team anyway? A team I had committed to both personally and financially!

I was shocked because I expected postseason conversations to be about improvement for next year. Instead, I was being cut. After the call, I wrote a detailed response reminding them why I joined in the first place. I called them out on their lip service to values they claimed to uphold, and how their actions during the season affected the team’s morale and performance. They realised their misstep and tried to apologise, even retracting what they said and inviting me back. But the damage was done—I refused and never looked back.

Rediscovering Tennis & Buying a Bicycle

After that, I went searching for new activities, which led me to joining a gym and buying a bicycle, a precursor to cycling with pitstop. Until I rediscovered tennis. I say "rediscovered" because I had trained a bit in the past but abandoned it. Now more than five years later, I picked up a racket again and decided it was time to recommit. I found a nice rhythm for weekly practice, and things were good. Tennis became a healthy distraction plus, it’s always a nice conversation booster to casually mention, "Oh, I play tennis."

The Game Goes On

Looking back, getting kicked off that team was a blow, but it also pushed me to explore new activities that have been even more rewarding. Sports have taught me that it’s not just about the competition or the wins—it’s about the resilience, the community, and most importantly, the care we give our bodies through it all. This is your encouragement to perish any limiting ideas about sports. Find something you like and do it.

I had to find use for this picture, lol. Perish the idea that you can’t do what you want and go for it!

I might have left my flag football team behind, but life has a way of circling back. Who knows what sport I’ll try next? For now, I’ll keep nursing my shoulder until I’m strong enough to swing a racket and cycle again.

Have you ever been kicked off a team—whether in sports or something else? I bet it sucked.